Le escribí a Vonnegut

Cuando aún no había traducido para ninguna editorial. 

Cuando casi no había vuelto de Estados Unidos.

Miento.

La carta es de 2008 o 2003, ya estaba en Barcelona. Ya habría mandado X cartas a editoriales antes de llegar. En aquel momento para nada. "No te van a hacer caso si no tienes experiencia". La pescadilla. 

Pero yo le escribí esta carta a Vonnegut, que no había muerto aún, en la que le contaba cómo me gustaría traducir sus novelas. Que ya estaban traducidas. 

Que después de su muerte aún se ha traducido, por ejemplo, The Egg, que yo había traducido por mi cuenta y por placer también. Pero las cosas son como son.

Por suerte, ahora ya tengo experiencia en traducción de libros. No tanta como quisiera. 

Pero hoy encontré esta carta y la voy a publicar porque me hace gracia. No está entera, la he vuelto a editar un poco y le he quitado un trozo al final que no estaba acabado. Ni falta que hace. Mr. Vonnegut no necesita saber nada más. 

Copio del Word directamente, dejando la nota inicial, de otra vez que me sumergí entre las carpetas de cosas que tengo pendientes. 

Demasiado pendientes. 

❃

Creado en 2008, modificado en 2003 (?), a ver cómo se come eso.

Dear Mr. Vonnegut,

When I'm reading your books I often remember a sketch by Kids in the Hall, where there is a guy all dressed in blue, with a curly blue hair wig on, and he’s in a TV studio demanding to be cast for a children’s program. The manager asks him:

"And why do you think you should be in a children’s program?

"I think it’s obvious, I look like a blueberry.

"But what are your qualifications and experience?

And so on, till the blue man gets very angry and frustrated and ends up yelling in a shrill voice at the man behind the desk, every time he asks about his qualifications or why he thinks he should be in this program: "Because I look like a *#@%ing blueberry! (censorship beep).

George Constanza in Seinfeld also shows the same kind of determination and lack of respect for formal studies. He wants to be a broadcaster for the Yankies, just because he would really like it, and Jerry discourages him by pointing out to him that those jobs are normally given to people who are journalists.  

I told myself a joke my last year in the US, telling someone: Well, if Seinfeld is over, what am I doing here? Let´s go back to Spain.

And what does this have to do with my reading your books? Well, I often think of yelling at any Spanish publisher, whoever is going to publish one of your books: "I want to translate Kurt Vonnegut´s novel!

"Why do you think we should hire you as a translator?

"’Cause I love Vonnegut´s writings!

"Do you have any experience as a literary translator?

"No, but I´ve read every *#@%ing Vonnegut novel I’ve come across and I feel like I know him!

All of this is much funnier when it comes to my mind and it all happens in one second up there. But It's really not so funny. Even when I like that thoughtless determination of Blueberry Man and George Constanza, I am aware that’s not how things work, and I am a translator. I don’t have much literary translation experience (only a little piece I published in a the translation magazine Two Lines from San Francisco), but my studies focused on literature and it wouldn’t be crazy for me to be a literary translator, if only those jobs were easier to land without any connections.

The first novel of yours I read was Cat´s Cradle, which I read as part of the American Literature course in my English Philology program at the Universidad de Alicante. I loved those years. I didn’t understand much. Imagine, a twenty-something Spanish girl who’s been studying English at college for 3 or 4 years, with practically no contact with real native speakers, much less with American culture. No matter how good you are at English, literature is much more. I also studied Chomsky and his linguistic theories, no idea who else he was. ‘Cause we know much more now.

Then I went for a Master’s degree  (that was the long-term stay I needed, mentioned above, it I was to become a translator) to the University of Rhode Island. Of all places. And one thing leads to another and I end up living in RI for eight years. So I read Cat´s Cradle now and I understand, among other things. 

✍

Other than the political or philosophical ideas I agree with, I also find in your books familiar places and people, or characters, the bitter humor, the pessimistic stance towards life in general. After all, last night I read your birthday is November 11, mine is November 22. We’re both Scorpio (another big deal I could yell at the fictitious publisher).

✍

Fates Worse Than Death is the book I’m reading now and I guess it’s the one that most touches me, especially because there is less fiction. Not that I don’t like fiction, but these days I’m more attuned to social commentary than to, say, novel. Not only do I agree with most of your opinions but I also enjoy the way you present them. Another of your novels I read recently, not sure if it was Hocus Pocus or God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (I think this is the one) has a plethora of  uncommon and beautiful words that I had never read or heard before. It’s so nice to read them. 

So what else can I say but that I admire you?